The past few weeks seem to have been pretty eventful and I would say that my mood was lifting. I was seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. The first thing that went well I felt really positive with was my doctor's appointment. I had been getting pretty desperate, concerned and stressed about my prospects of seeing someone in the Local Mental ( Read more... )

Today I am reflecting on my visit to Swansea to see my sister and the events of my weekend break there. It was so good to see Alicia and I realise every time I see her how much I miss her. I know now that I miss my mom as well though luckily it’s easier to visit her.

My mom and I arrived in Swansea Wednesday night finally after my own ( Read more... )

This evening I gave my mom a book; The Transgender Debate by Stephen Whittle. I had been home for the weekend and it had come near to the time when I had to leave to go back to my place. I was so nervous and full of worry so I decided that the best idea would be to write her a note and put the note and the book in an envelope. This was what I ( Read more... )

This last week has felt so strange and I have experienced a number of emotions, feelings and thoughts all at the same time. These seem to change quite profoundly though and do not stay focused for long.

I felt very odd after telling my counsellor about me taking hormone therapy under the counter. I was so nervous and even after I told her ( Read more... )

I seemed to have entered a new phase or mood in the last week. I’m unsure why I have come to this type of mood but I can’t help come up with some ideas. One idea was that the coming to terms with my feelings, or growing acceptance. Though I have learned with acceptance comes severe melancholy. I have felt extremely emotional about it all lately. ( Read more... )

These past few days since Wednesday have been pretty troubled. Something inside me is stirring that is making me very upset. The more I think about my feelings the more I feel upset. It knots me up inside. I was very reluctant to write lately because it feels so difficult. I am feeling very sad and sorry for myself, very melancholy. It almost ( Read more... )

I feel I am living on some kind of old fashioned weighing scales today. I am feeling on one side a sense of androgyny and on the other femininity. To be honest when I feel this androgyny it doesn’t give me so much angst of course as when I am feeling very much that I am a female. In a way I still feel I am female yet I feel a positive feeling ( Read more... )

I feel in a confused state of mind this morning yet I can’t understand why. Maybe it is something to do with what I talked about with my counsellor. The things that we talked about are probably quite true and they seem to sound like sense. Yet I just don’t know what it all means now and in the future of my life. I think there must be more to it ( Read more... )

I feel nervous yet eager to see my gender counsellor very soon. I want to get everything across as accurately as possible. I realise it is only early days but I hope that it will help me greatly in the long run. I guess I want to discover the truth about who I am. I know it will take me some time to get to the exact truth.

I wrote down ( Read more... )